Boring football – time for a change?

To say I’m not a big football fan is an understatement, so I’m not fussed about the current World Cup proceedings. That might be due in part to low-scoring matches, and the majority of the interest seemingly coming from off-the-pitch antics rather than on-the-pitch artistry.

Perhaps the game would benefit from a bit of a refresh? Some ideas:

  • vary the scoring
    • award extra points for two goals scored by the same side within 5 minutes?
    • award points for non-goals (e.g. fractional points for shots on target and near-goals – not near-misses, since those by definition are goals!)
  • use more than one ball – perhaps introduce an extra ball every 5 minutes until one side scores? Possibly change the ball design to make its motion less predictable.
  • vary team sizes – perhaps remove one player from each side every 5 minutes until one side scores (perhaps a player voted for in real-time by spectators) or remove one player from the scoring side for every goal scored
  • vary the goal post arrangement
    • vary the goal size/position during the match
    • increase the number of goal posts (perhaps one set on all four sides of the pitch)

No doubt the purists would be up-in-arms at the thought of tinkering with their “beautiful game” and, admittedly, some of the ideas would bring challenges for the players, referees, ground staff and/or spectators. I’m sure with recent advances in technology (e.g. in the television space Hawk-Eye, Interactive TV, IP TV, 3D TV and Virtual Cameras) many of the problems are surmountable. Times change; perhaps football should too?

Update 4/7/2010: Wimbledon-inspired ideas – split the match into several ‘sets’. Winner of a set must be 2 goals clear. Matches could be over in minutes or drag on for hours!

Only at King’s Cross?

As my train pulled into King’s Cross, I spotted a serious-looking sign bearing the edict:

Electric Trains Only To Access Platform 0

A couple of questions struck me:

  1. Is King’s Cross the only station with a Platform 0?
  2. Why was my electric train (like many others) NOT pulling into Platform 0, disobeying the serious-looking sign?

It turns out there are other UK stations with a Platform 0: Edinburgh Haymarket and Cardiff Central at least.  But I’m fairly sure King’s Cross is the only station with a Platform 0 AND a sign for Platform 9 3/4.

As for disobeying the serious-looking sign, I reckon the train driver was right to ignore the Ministry of Signs’ half-baked wording.  Since Platform 0 is more enclosed than the other platforms, station management probably want to avoid pollution/fumes (e.g. from diesel trains) building up in the confined space.  So, they want to restrict Platform 0 for use by electric trains only, but not prevent electric trains from using the other platforms.  Sadly, the Ministry’s carelessly placed “only” fluffs both intentions.

A simple “Platform 0: Electric Trains Only” would have sufficed.  But the Ministry ambiguated, consigning the poor placard to an enigmatic existence.

Today’s wordsmithing lesson inspired by the Ministry of Signs:

Say what you mean, then check you mean what you say!

Update 29/06/2010: Stockport also has a Platform 0 (thanks Oli!)