Boring football – time for a change?

To say I’m not a big football fan is an understatement, so I’m not fussed about the current World Cup proceedings. That might be due in part to low-scoring matches, and the majority of the interest seemingly coming from off-the-pitch antics rather than on-the-pitch artistry.

Perhaps the game would benefit from a bit of a refresh? Some ideas:

  • vary the scoring
    • award extra points for two goals scored by the same side within 5 minutes?
    • award points for non-goals (e.g. fractional points for shots on target and near-goals – not near-misses, since those by definition are goals!)
  • use more than one ball – perhaps introduce an extra ball every 5 minutes until one side scores? Possibly change the ball design to make its motion less predictable.
  • vary team sizes – perhaps remove one player from each side every 5 minutes until one side scores (perhaps a player voted for in real-time by spectators) or remove one player from the scoring side for every goal scored
  • vary the goal post arrangement
    • vary the goal size/position during the match
    • increase the number of goal posts (perhaps one set on all four sides of the pitch)

No doubt the purists would be up-in-arms at the thought of tinkering with their “beautiful game” and, admittedly, some of the ideas would bring challenges for the players, referees, ground staff and/or spectators. I’m sure with recent advances in technology (e.g. in the television space Hawk-Eye, Interactive TV, IP TV, 3D TV and Virtual Cameras) many of the problems are surmountable. Times change; perhaps football should too?

Update 4/7/2010: Wimbledon-inspired ideas – split the match into several ‘sets’. Winner of a set must be 2 goals clear. Matches could be over in minutes or drag on for hours!

Only at King’s Cross?

As my train pulled into King’s Cross, I spotted a serious-looking sign bearing the edict:

Electric Trains Only To Access Platform 0

A couple of questions struck me:

  1. Is King’s Cross the only station with a Platform 0?
  2. Why was my electric train (like many others) NOT pulling into Platform 0, disobeying the serious-looking sign?

It turns out there are other UK stations with a Platform 0: Edinburgh Haymarket and Cardiff Central at least.  But I’m fairly sure King’s Cross is the only station with a Platform 0 AND a sign for Platform 9 3/4.

As for disobeying the serious-looking sign, I reckon the train driver was right to ignore the Ministry of Signs’ half-baked wording.  Since Platform 0 is more enclosed than the other platforms, station management probably want to avoid pollution/fumes (e.g. from diesel trains) building up in the confined space.  So, they want to restrict Platform 0 for use by electric trains only, but not prevent electric trains from using the other platforms.  Sadly, the Ministry’s carelessly placed “only” fluffs both intentions.

A simple “Platform 0: Electric Trains Only” would have sufficed.  But the Ministry ambiguated, consigning the poor placard to an enigmatic existence.

Today’s wordsmithing lesson inspired by the Ministry of Signs:

Say what you mean, then check you mean what you say!

Update 29/06/2010: Stockport also has a Platform 0 (thanks Oli!)

Revolutionary – celebrating my 33 1/3 birthday

A bit of light relief after a heavy UK budget announcement yesterday.

Today I reach a landmark: 33-and-a-third years as a visitor on planet Earth. As some will remember, that number is also the rotational speed (in RPM) of a Long Play (LP) gramophone record. I wonder how much longer people celebrating this birthday will remember buying an LP – it can’t be much longer?

Other gramophone record speeds I remember were 45rpm and (older) 78rpm – so the corresponding birthdays are a few years away yet. All the more reason to concoct some other spurious birthdays to celebrate in the meantime…

I could care less

Why do some people online write “I could care less” when seemingly meaning “I really don’t care” or, in fact, “I couldn’t care less” – the opposite of their written meaning? Is this some kind of “bad means good” or “sick means great” meaning inversion, or are the users oblivious to the fact that they’re saying the opposite of what they mean? I guess by writing this I’ve proved that literally I could care less. D’oh!

Will iPhone 4 speak English?

My iPhone 3GS doesn’t speak English as I know it.  The “Favorites”, “Airplane Mode” and “Carrier” menu items to my mind should be “Favourites”, “Flight-safe Mode” and “Network”.  Odd that my iPhone knows how to space UK telephone numbers correctly (I know few people who do), and how to correct my spelling in text messages, but lets itself down with its own menu terminology.  Ho hum.  At least the upgrade to iOS4 is free – bring on 21st June. When my third-party apps can multitask, I’m bound to get more done 🙂

How to virtualise and backup your wallet

Screenshot of iPhone showing image of bank card

Store card images in a photo album on your phone as a backup and for reference when the real card's not handy

You’ve got lots of important cards in your wallet – credit cards, payment cards etc.  You want to make sure they’re handy when you need them, and you don’t want to lose them.  No doubt you’ve also got lots more cards you seldom need (e.g. membership cards, discount cards) – so you either cram them into your wallet on the off-chance you’ll need them, or you don’t bother carrying them and sometime wish you had.  Either way – not ideal.  Increasingly, if you’re anything like me, cards are used as often for online payments as physical payments – so you can often get away with knowing the information printed on the card, rather than needing the card itself.

Wouldn’t it be great if you could have all your card information handy without having all your cards in your wallet (or, in fact, carrying any at all)?  And wouldn’t it be great if you had a backup of your wallet contents, so if you do ever lose it you know which cards to cancel?  How?

Make a photo album containing pictures of each of your cards, and carry it on your smartphone.

It’s easiest to use a scanner to capture the images of each card, but you could use a camera instead.  I scanned both sides of each card at 300dpi, which resulted in card images approx 1,000 pixels wide by 650 pixels high.   I used GIMP (the open source image manipulator) to combine the front and back images for each card into a single image file 1,050 pixels wide by 1,400 pixels high. Then I saved these in a photo folder that automatically syncs with my iPhone.  Job done.  30-or-so cards scanned front and back in well under an hour (I scanned several at a time).  And I think this is secure enough for me, because the PIN protection on my phone kicks in automatically after a handful of minutes.  If only my real wallet were PIN-protected and could be remotely wiped like my iPhone!

I still need to carry around my essential day-to-day cards in my wallet, but I can cut the clutter by leaving many at home.  Next time I need to prove my AA breakdown membership, prove my National Trust membership or order something online when my wallet’s not handy, I can just reach for my phone, pop in my PIN, eyeball the right card in the photo album and click it to read the details.  I’m not planning on losing my wallet, but if (when?) I ever do, sorting that out should be a lot easier too.

Google “More” than “Everything”?

Screenshot of Google search engine with option to search "More" than "Everything"

Google lets you search More than Everything?!

Spotted some intriguing search results on Google. Even though Google promises to let you search “More” than “Everything” (look under the Google logo in the screenshot), it humbly reckons Microsoft’s Bing is the top answer for “search”. How bizarre.  Clicking “More” reveals a set of filters to constrain the search, so I guess rather than “More” they actually mean “Less”.

Oops – I deleted all of Google’s data!

Dear Google,

Sorry if you lost all your data recently, it was my fault.  The Google app on my iPhone had stopped working, so I deleted it in order to reinstall.  Here’s what my iPhone asked me…

height=307

I pressed “Delete” and in a flash it was gone, with all your data too presumably.  I must say, you seemed to restore all your data with lightning speed  – because my next Google search worked fine.  Keep up the good work.

Yours sincerely

Fin

Consumers: What OEM really stands for

If you’ve ever bought any computer components, you might have come across the term “OEM”.  Typically this identifies bare-bones products that are intended for system builders to build into their systems, and therefore these products usually lack the refinements that would be present in a consumer-orientated retail package.

So I reckon from a consumer perspective OEM really stands for “Optional Extras Missing”, which surely makes more sense than the confusing proper term “Original Equipment Manufacturer“.

Fully overused

It struck me that the word “fully” has become overused to the extent that it’s often meaningless.  Some examples:

  • Fully comprehensive (isn’t that just ‘comprehensive’ then?)
  • Fully air conditioned (really?  by what measure do we judge the fullness of air conditioning?)

This post is now fully complete.  Or is it?